Parashat Toldot

November 28, 2024
21 Cheshvan 5785
Parashat Toldot
Genesis 25:19-28:9

A Meditation on Giving: After Maimonides

There are many ways to give.
There’s giving money or food
to those who need it.
But there’s also sharing a kind word.
There’s giving time, attention,
and the sense of being seen;
Bestowing honor, offering hospitality, and sitting
with someone who is ill
Granting peace.
Offering love.
But not all giving is the same.
Some give grudgingly, reluctantly, or with regret.
Some give less than they should, but with grace.
Others give what they should,
but only after being asked;
A blessed few create circles of generosity where
neither the giver nor the recipient know the
identity of the other.
The highest level of giving is when we allow the
recipient to become self-supporting, a giver in their own right.

At this time of thanks and giving,
May we all commit ourselves to share abundance,
words, time, resources, peace and love.

Thanksgiving is an American holiday celebrating the bounty of the harvest. The holiday is modeled upon Sukkot, which we so recently celebrated. What do we wish to harvest at this moment? In this moment of insecurity, with a lack of clear vision as to how we will navigate the rapid changes that abound, I wish for kindness in all its many forms: kindness to others, whether to those we love and know well, those we interact with regularly and know less well, or those with whom takes more effort to find that upon which we can agree. Kindness is more than being nice or being friendly; it is taking the effort to be present for others. However, before we can be kind to others, we need to be kind and caring of ourselves.

We are living in a time where a sense of order and clarity of purpose is not easily accessed. In spite of the rise of antisemitism, the Jewish community in America is not stagnating. But we do find ourselves at a moment of transformation, searching for ways to share the meaning of our tradition with one another and the larger community. The vitriol that surrounds us on a daily basis makes it difficult to go forward. However, going forward is the only option.

This week’s Torah portion, Toldot (generations) Genesis 25:19-28:9, highlights family dysfunction and sibling rivalry. Parents Isaac and Rebecca each favor a different child. The twins Jacob and Esau have different personalities and are described as looking different as well.

Rebecca has received the prophecy that the older will serve the younger and does what she can to make that a reality. This includes disguising Jacob as Esau so he can receive the blessing of the older child from his blind father. Isaac is suspicious but blesses Jacob anyway. Esau comes in expecting to be blessed by his father only to be told that the blessing has already been given. Esau begs his father for a blessing. Ultimately, he receives one. His anger at his brother is so deep that Jacob leaves home in fear of his brother.

When we have more than one child, even twins, they are different from one another and demand different responses. What is the guidance we can receive from this difficult story?

Esau’s words may provide the clue. “Do you have but one blessing, my father?” The answer, in fact, for parents is “no.” Even as each child in a family has a different set of parents, each child in a family is unique, and there is enough love to go around. Love is not a limited commodity. There are always enough blessings to go around, and different people need different blessings. And so it is with each of us. In our story we are told that Isaac is blind, but he has enough vision to grant his son Esau a blessing. May we be granted the vision to see one another and have the capacity to bless one another and offer kindness.

Wishing you a sweet Thanksgiving and a Shabbat Shalom.

Rabbi Linda Shriner-Cahn